Valentine’s Day: Making Space for All the Feelings
Valentine’s Day is often wrapped in images of roses, heart-shaped boxes, candlelit dinners, and grand gestures of love. For some people, this day feels joyful, affirming, and full of connection. It may be a celebration of a romantic partnership, a deep friendship, self-love, or the many forms love can take in our lives.
And for others, Valentine’s Day can feel heavy.
This day can quietly amplify what’s missing. It may bring up grief for a partner who has died, a relationship that ended, a love that was hoped for but never came, or a future that looks different than once imagined. It can stir loneliness, sadness, anger, or a deep ache that doesn’t always have words. If this is your experience, there is nothing wrong with you—and you are not alone.
Grief does not follow a calendar, but certain days have a way of shining a spotlight on loss. Valentine’s Day can remind us of love we once had, love we long for, or love that changed us forever. These reactions are not a sign of failure or weakness; they are a reflection of your capacity to love deeply.
It’s also okay if your feelings are mixed. You might feel genuinely happy for others while also feeling sad for yourself. You might feel numb when you think you “should” feel something. You might feel pressure to participate in celebrations that don’t align with where you are emotionally. All of these experiences are valid.
There is no “right” way to move through Valentine’s Day.
For some, caring for yourself today might mean leaning into connection like reaching out to a friend, expressing appreciation, or honoring the relationships that sustain you. For others, it might mean setting boundaries with social media, allowing yourself to grieve, or choosing quiet and rest. Love can look like compassion toward yourself, especially on days that feel tender.
If Valentine’s Day brings up grief or loss for you, know this: your feelings make sense. You do not have to rush them, fix them, or minimize them. Grief and love often coexist, and both deserve space.
Whether you find yourself this Valentine’s Day celebrating, reflecting, grieving, or simply getting through the day—you are allowed to be exactly where you are. And that, too, is a meaningful expression of love.